Eurovision Final Part 8

Damn, Serbia just clinched it with about 260 points. Ah well. Maybe “Europe” will “vote for something different” next year.

Another year of hilarity. Well done Scootch (or whatever they’re called), got about 20 points. Next year, the East.

Father Christmas is (scarily) presenting the trophy. And now the winner will perpetrate the song upon us again.

Eurovision Final Part 2

Romania – wow, how many languages can they sing in… and how many nationalities can they offend with their stereotyping? Awesome. I reckon the Greeks are going to be most annoyed. Great stuff.

Bulgaria – Oh hell. Not again. Semi -finalists. Bloody awful. Sorry. It’s the hook that just grates. The bloke loosk like the DJ off Phoenix Nights.

Turkey – Argh. Still terrible. Sorry. Sir Tel reckons all the dancers (who are lovely) are British. So that’s alright then. Still prefer Russia though.

I wonder if one could hi-jack the light show for sub -liminal messages? Maybe the British entry next year should be Derren Brown.

Not much more to go. Much better show than Thursday.

Armenia – David Essex put on weight, or went down the gym. Heartfelt, “I will always l love you” type of song. We’re at the shouting stage now.

Moldova – semi-finalist. It’s called “Fight”. Last song. I used to share a house with a guy who played his guitar like this. I used to attack my violin in much the same way too.

The presenters are scaring everyone now. He’s shouting about Father Christmas.

Jeez. They’ve brought on Father Christmas. He’s scaring children.

Vote now: vote Russia – 09011 21 31 15

I have done my annual European duty. I feel validated.

Eurovision Final Part 1

The beeb have sing-a-long lyrics! With translations beneath! Terry Wogan is already on fire.

Bosnia – usual evs tat – miserable mode

Spain – usual evs boy band tat – exuberant.

Belarus – they were bad in the semi-final. He’s quite pleased to be in the final.

These lyric on the screen are adding (or subtracting?) to the whole experience: “When you cast your loving potion over me “. That’s alright then.

Ireland – they’re less scared of winning than the last few years. A tribute song to the Eurovision Contest. Very Irish.

Had to bin the lyrics. Someone just talked over Sir Terry and I missed what he was saying about running shoes. Sacrilege.

Finland – angry lady rocking out. Guitars in bowler hats…. Excellent – the lyric is “Leave me alone, I wanna go home, just leave me alone”.

FYR Macedonia – loooooong legs, very short skirt. She should win 🙂 Semi-finalist got through. Very loud, Eurovision sing-a-long (in foreign) chorus with quiet, inrtospective verses (flutes and a harp). Ohhhh, wind machine just cut in. Goodness me.

Slovenia – another semi-finalist I didn’t like very much. Operatic type noises with club-beat “lite”. Lots of going “ahhhh”. Loud though. Nice voice.

Hungary – another semi-finalist I didn’t like very much. Not really a Eurovision song. Proper rock-chick singer and a proper song. Amazingly pointless props of a bus stop and a suitcase. She’s 21 yeasr old apparently.

Lithuania – Howards’ End music (the bad 80’s soap, not the worthy fillum). Need sails in the background. Not sure whether the get-up (black) is leather, PVC or Gortex…. Good evs.

Greece – great evs. Could be a winner. He’s upset about Maria going away. I think. Apparently he’s from London. Good show.

Georgia – semi-finalist. Bloody awful, needs a decent remix from the YoungPunx or someone like and it’d be great. But the lady looks lovely. And there are swords. Lots of swords.

God the chorus hurts.

Sweden – looking forward to this. Glam-rock.

Oh yes. Top song. Why do I keep thinking “Noddy Holder”? This is quality.

France – looks mad as. Stop Press: they’re singing en anglais (a bit). It’s franglais. Strange. Um. It’ll do well I reckon.

Latvia – semi-finalists. Bit like the Flying Pickets who’ve been watching the Four Tenors… with top hats on. And they’ve robbed a rose each out of the bouquet for the female presenter at the end (allegedly).

Russia – Mmmmmmm. Bananarama got younger and are wearing pop-socks. I’m going to hell. I want this one to win.

Germany – These guys look mad. Looking forward to it.

Alexi Sayle does Fred Astaire… in German. It’s alright surprisingly. Nowhere near as amusing as I’d hoped. Damn.

Serbia – semi-finalist. Jack Osbourne. She suggested on Thursday that we all voted “for something different”. Amazingly people didn’t and she got through. Very eurovision. She looks as though she’s having a terrible time pooing. Her assistants are putting helping hands upon her. It’s very moving (although apparently not for her).

The Moomins are on! With Father Christmas. No idea why.

Ukraine – oh… my… god. Someone blew up the tin foil factory…. I can’t type. This is amazing.

Could get nul points, could win. Blimey. The male presenter’s spinning round again for no apparent reason.

The UK!! ‘Ray. Go Skooch.

Wow. If this wasn’t British it would win. It’s quite rude, and the ladies look marvellous. I know. I’m going to hell.