Parking Pillocks

I’ve just got a parking fine through the post for alleged illegal parking on Christmas Eve. I racked my brains to think where I could have done it, and concluded they, Vinci Park Services UK Ltd, must have got me with a tyre outside a bay or something.

Anyway, read the whole first page, and it appeared Vinci had videoed me from a parking enforcement car. Well, I was a bit worked up about that. “What’s wrong with a traffic warden?” I mused (shouted). “Why is this country intent on divorcing it’s law enforcement from the governed with faceless, privatised CCTV operators grabbing images and running?” I fulminated. “How can we expect our children to grow up courageous in the face of jobs-worthian bureaucracy if the jobs-worths are faceless and undetectable?” I reflected. “I haven’t compared them to Nazis yet, but I’m sure there’s a hook in there somewhere.” I reductioed ad Hitlerumed.

I read they require £70, reduced to £35 quid if I pay up quickly and quietly, increasing to £105 if I make a fuss.

TBH, by this point I’m apoplectic with rage. I have to go to their offices in Dunstable, a good 45 mins to an hour away, without parking included, to view the video, and I have to make an appointment. Being rather annoyed I’m also assuming that the appointment will be suitably close enough to the 21 day limit to ensure I have to pay the whole whack, not the reduced charge if I am proved to have parked incorrectly.

Anyway, so I turn the page and the picture I see… well. Hum. Not a tyre over a line, not badly parked, no, “parking” is accurate. In fact, with a quick glance at the picture, my 3 year old asked “Where you driving truck Daddy?” “Driving” he said, not “parked”, driving. As in moving, on a public road, with an open parking space infront of the truck in the picture. As in “Bugger off you bunch of chancers! Your assessment that this is restricted parking proves that you cannot even differentiate between a parking car and a parked car. You even have a video, allegedly, showing the parking manoeuvring. You have been outperformed in your chosen specialisation by a 3-year old who still says ‘cock’ instead of ‘sock’.”

I have no doubt the system is rigged to ensure people go “Oh sod it, pay the 35 quid, it’s not worth the hassle”. In fact, that’s what J said before she saw the picture.

I’m bloody annoyed.

I’m not paying their fine. I’m contesting it as far they decide they want to go. I am in the happy position, currently, of being able to afford to. If I, and people in the same financial position, don’t test these bloody idiots, then it impacts justice for people who have to look at the same situation and decide to pay the £35 because they can’t afford to risk having to pay the £70 or £105, or can’t afford the time off work, or the petrol and parking, to get to Dunstable to face-up to these leeches. It’s allowing corporates and the rich to afford justice, while the poor have to pay up or get screwed.

Ohhhh, I feel all “System of a Down”. Bar stewards.